{"id":20,"date":"2008-07-27T02:13:49","date_gmt":"2008-07-27T02:13:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.oscarc.net\/?p=20"},"modified":"2018-01-28T06:39:11","modified_gmt":"2018-01-28T06:39:11","slug":"why-babies-are-better-than-cats","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.oscarc.net\/index.php\/2008\/07\/27\/why-babies-are-better-than-cats\/","title":{"rendered":"Why babies are better than cats"},"content":{"rendered":"
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny\r\nSubject: Re: Cat owners will agree...\r\nFrom: ianb@netcom.com (Ian Barkley-Yeung)\r\nDate: Thu, 30 Mar 95 4:30:03 EST<\/pre>\n
Kittens, better than babies? Hah! Here now are the top eleven<\/strong> reasons why babies are better than kittens (and, as any five-year-old will tell you, more reasons makes my list better. Nyah! Nyah! Nyah!)<\/p>\n
11) Babies are rarely known to shed on furniture.<\/p>\n
10) No one’s allergic to a baby.<\/p>\n
9) Having a kitten in the car doesn’t let you drive in the carpool lane.<\/p>\n
8) An exercise program you can really stick with… that you have<\/strong> to stick with, whether you like it or not…<\/p>\n
7) With a kitten, you don’t get to watch otherwise normal adults making silly faces, jumping up and down, talking nonsense in a high pitched voice, and generally making fools of themselves. Hours of fun!<\/p>\n
6) For an initial investment of a camera and few pieces of film, you can convince baby’s grandparents to buy the kid all the cute but expensive clothes, toys, furniture, and major appliances s\/he will ever need — a good photographer can buy nothing but diapers for a year. Cats never buy their grandkittens anything.<\/p>\n
5) Babies don’t have fleas. Babies don’t give you<\/strong> fleas.<\/p>\n
4) Free pregnancy\/labor horror story with each baby. Commensurate with other mothers! Scare newly-pregnant friends! Get your husband to do twice the housework for months!<\/p>\n
3) Two words: Tax deduction<\/p>\n
2) Childbirth — the greatest crash diet ever! Lose 20 pounds in one day — and keep it off, too!<\/p>\n
And the number one reason babies are better than kittens:<\/p>\n
1) Kittens never grow up to look at you and say “I love you, Daddy”.<\/p>\n
[original to me]<\/p>\n
-Ian Barkley-Yeung
\nProud Parent of Stephen Skyler Barkley-Yeung — cutest baby in history!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny Subject: Re: Cat owners will agree… From: ianb@netcom.com (Ian Barkley-Yeung) Date: Thu, 30 Mar 95 4:30:03 EST Kittens, better than babies? Hah! Here now are the top eleven reasons why babies are better than kittens (and, as any five-year-old will tell you, more reasons makes my list better. Nyah! Nyah! Nyah!) 11) Babies … <\/p>\n
Continue reading “Why babies are better than cats”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.oscarc.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.oscarc.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.oscarc.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.oscarc.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.oscarc.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blog.oscarc.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21,"href":"https:\/\/blog.oscarc.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20\/revisions\/21"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.oscarc.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.oscarc.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.oscarc.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}